...TAMI BALLESTEROS is an artist who has a big appetite for life. He is strong & determined to achieve his dreams. He overcomes challenges with finesse and class. He doesn’t need to be someone who achieved & possessed so much. He is happy just by knowing that he is able to live his life to the fullest -have fun, be happy, loving ,be romantic, laugh and cry with friends, be stylish or maybe be a bit crazy sometimes, to name a few, but most of all he is someone who is wise and spiritual enough to share the wonderful blessings he has in this short yet meaningful journey called life... Kudos to all of you ... :)


your key to a beautiful life.

Friday, February 6, 2009

Nobody likes being criticised but, unfortunately it is a fact of life.I for myself is subject to a lot of criticisms espedially in the profession that I am in. To be able to respond to criticism with nobility and detachment is an important life skill, which few people have. If we respond to criticism without careful consideration, it can easily lead to unnecessary suffering.

1. What Can I Learn from Criticism?

Most criticism is probably based, at least in part, on some truths. Criticism may appear negative. But, through criticism we have the opportunity to learn and improve from their suggestions.

2. Respond to the suggestions not the tone of the criticism.

The problem is that people may make valuable critical suggestions. However, there tone and style of criticism means that we respond not to the suggestions but remember there confrontational manner. In this respect we need to separate the criticism from the style of criticism. Even if people speak in a tone of anger, we should try to detach their emotion from the useful suggestions which lie underneath.

3. Value criticism.

The problems is that quite often, we only value praise. When people speak kind words we feel happy. When people criticise we feel miserable. However, if we only received insincere praise and false flattery, how would we ever make progress? If we wish to improve and develop we should invite constructive criticism and appreciate their suggestions.

4. Don’t take it personally.

This is often the biggest problem which occurs with regard to criticism. If I criticise my Mother’s cooking, she feels personally offended. But, it is a mistake to identify ourselves with an apple pie. Somebody may find good reasons why our cooking is bad; but, this does not mean they are criticising ourselves. When people criticise us directly, we should feel they are not criticising our real self; but, just an unillumined aspect of ourselves. When we criticise others, we are perhaps criticising their pride or jealousy; but, the jealousy is a mere passing emotion, it is not the real person.

5. Ignore False Criticism.
Sometimes we are criticised with no justification. This is a painful experience. But, potentially we can deal with it more easily than criticism which is justified. One option is to remain aloof and ignore it completely. We should feel that false criticism is as insignificant as an ant trying to harm an elephant. If we remain silent and detached the criticism is given no energy. If we feel the necessity of fighting it - in a way, we give it more importance than it deserves. By remaining silent we maintain a dignity that others will come to respect.

6. Don’t Respond Immediately

It is best to wait a little before responding. If we respond with feelings of anger or injured pride we will soon regret it. If we wait patiently it can enable us to reflect in a calmer way.

7. Smile

Smiling, even a false smile, can helps us to relax more. It creates a more positive vibration and smoothes the situation. It will definitely help psychologically. Smiling will motivate the other person to moderate their approach.

But amidst all the criticisms, I am just thankful for my family and friends who still loved me whoever I am at the moment,

and more importantly, the criticism that you should really take is the one that your heart makes, you are the only one who really know who you are.People may say whatever they want but at the end of day, just be thankful because you have been noticed, Confucious once said "It's the beautiful bird that gets caged"....

-Prince Tami

special credits to http://www.lifehack.org/articles/lifestyle/7-effective-ways-to-deal-with-criticism.html


Anonymous said...

dude, if you don't mind- include the links where you've been getting some of your entries. you might be liable for plagiarism. We (I) appreciate the helpful tips, but please be careful. Some writers are very sensitive when it comes to intellectual property rights. Posting the links of your sources wouldn't lessen the "pogi-points" of your blogsite.

***btw, i found the link of this post:

***i hope you wouldn't mind if i posted it for you.

peace bro.

---concerned blogbrother

tami ballesteros said...

thanks man

Anonymous said...

Here below is the writer of the said column:Tejvan Pettinger works as a teacher in Oxford. In his spare time he enjoys writing on topics of self-improvement, meditation and productivity. He writes a blog on meditation and self improvement called Sri Chinmoy Inspiration. He also gives Meditation Classes on behalf of the Oxford Sri Chinmoy Centre. Photo by Tejvan Pettinger.

Anonymous said...

Tami, I made a positive critique on your blog a week or so ago. What happened to it? Did you quash it because it contradicted your point of view and even challenged your credibility on the matter? I hope you're open to criticism which will actually make you a better person if you accept it with humility.

Anonymous said...

Well, after almost a month of waiting you have not put back the comments I made which you deliberately deleted. I know it was quite harsh on you but it was true and straightforward. I thought and I'd hoped that you'd be open to criticisms but it seemed I was wrong. Tami, greatness in life is not measured by the number of projects and perhaps accolades you received but rather how much you've tried to personally worked hard to be honest and have not misled and deceived and even used people to reach your own ambitions.

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